Think about what sets you off (your emotional triggers). Remember triggers can be anything from a word, a topic, a behaviour, etc. Some of your triggers might not be something your former spouse says or does – but something you do. Write these triggers on the left side of the page below.
Then, consider the best way to respond. Should you take a break? Will you pause and then refocus? What can you say or do to put things back on track? Brainstorm ways that will help you control your emotions. Consider this example.
TRIGGER: I get upset when Bob says I’m always working or that I’m a workaholic.
RESPONSE: I will recognize that this is just his opinion. I will not react to this.
I will refocus the conversation to the issue we are discussing.
Identify your triggers and responses
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