3.12 Communication Review


You will have the chance to listen to two conversations between separated parents. In this scenario, Bob has just returned their child (Sam) to Alice’s home from a weekend visit. Both of the conversations you will here are examples of what happens next. As you listen, think about the communication techniques and pitfalls that you have been learning about.


A: Did Sam get his homework done?

B: No we didn’t have time.

A: Do you want Sam to grow up to be an idiot like you. Don’t you care about him? It’s your fault it’s so difficult to get him to do his homework. If you can’t make Sam’s education a priority, maybe you shouldn’t be spending so much time with him.



What pitfalls did A fall into?

Labelling, Judging, Blaming, Threatening.


A: Did Sam get his homework done?

B: No we didn’t have time.

A: I feel frustrated when Sam comes back without having done his homework because then it falls on me to make sure he gets it done. I worry that Sam will see me as the bad, strict parent and you as the fun parent. I think it’s important for Sam to get his homework done because his education is important. How do you feel?

B: I agree that Sam should get his homework done. I want Sam to do well in school. But he has such a limited time together and I want him to have fun with me – not just do homework.

A: I understand that you want to have fun with Sam and I’m glad to hear you want him to do well in school and get his homework done. We can agree that Sam’s education is important. But I worry that he won’t have time to do homework when he comes back Sunday night. Would you be willing to spend some time with Sam working on his homework while he’s at your place?

B: Yea, I can do that. You’re right. He needs time on the weekend to do his homework.

A: Thanks for helping out. I’m glad we worked this out.

B: I’ll see you next week.



What communication techniques did A and B use to work things out?

Choose reaction, Identify Triggers, I Statements, Acknowledging, Neutralizing, Rephrasing.


3.12 Communication Review